Doing Hard Things 

I think I come by it naturally to push myself to be better, to do more , to achieve a higher standard.  Growing up I was surrounded by parents who continually did hard things and worked very hard to accomplish good results. My siblings are hard workers. My husband is a hard worker.  We are good stock, you might say.  None of us content to ever just sit still and let life just wander by.
Last summer my family moved, which was a big endeavor as we changed towns and so have had to restructure all life's details. My oldest son lived the weekdays away from home in his first full time seasonal job, a few cities away.  And in the fall I finally returned to school to get my advanced diploma in the culinary arts.  It took me three years to return after the completion of my basic diploma in 2014 - but thanks to the sale of the house it was finally the right time to work that into life.
 

It was a long 15 weeks for me, still adjusting to our new environment whilst settling in our five children and homeschooling gr.11, 9, 6, 3 & 2 - before and after my own classes.  Head to the ground, plow through. Don't look up, don't you take your eyes off the goal. 

My school was located in the heart of Hamilton, above the farmers market.  Walking through street musicians , fresh produce and even the hussle and bussle was all very  hygge- when not overwhelming.

My first sessions were in theory - most dreaded math. Cooking gives me energy but the thought of sitting for hours in front of the text books drained me of almost all I could give. But the smiling faces of the faculty and staff were a great encouragement as was a certificate of recognition. Yup, I got a participation award , but it was enough to see me through the long theory portion. 

Finally in the kitchen I was able to apply myself to the thing that gives me great joy and peace. There is no greater feeling to me than to take "nothing" and shape it into something beautiful , nourishing and satisfying to those who partake. 

 It was not without challenges as I found I had often more enthusiasm than my peers but such is life. This was perhaps my single most disappointment as I had really hoped to enjoy the challenge of younger and perhaps more talented students. But it was worth it to dig within myself and compete against my own standards.

 I was privileged to represent the college at an event at the city hall.  And I passed with Honours - one of the goals I had set for myself going in.
Although I did little to advance my own personal business, I was able to do a few orders over Christmas and a Christmas Treats and Entertaining demo and presentation for a group of 50 women.

 I'm so glad that I took this time to really finish well.  My oldest is just under two years away from his own college days and then I will have a child entering college every two years for the next ten years. My husband will then be retired.  This truly was my last, at least foreseeable, chance for ME. Not a bad run for a 41 year old, wanna be Chef.  Oh, and I received a job offer on my last day of class. The opportunity to do what I love. Serving  and feeding about 50 residents in a private seniors home- once a week and one weekend a month. I can homeschool my children and I can "live the dream". Yes, I am blessed.

Last day of school, a beautiful goodbye to a chapter in my life

Finding Ground

Finding Ground

Just about a year ago I wrote a deeply personal post about being Insecure . At that time I was struggling to gain confidence in my new culinary world. Scared to death of being a little fish in a big pond.

This past year continued with it's own challenges  to overcome. Though I went into this season a little battered , I also went in a little stronger. The things that knocked me off my feet last year were lessons. I'm slowly learning that though God isn't changing everything around me He is equipping me. I say this even on the heels of some more profoundly difficult times for my personal life.

I wrote in my private journal about the therapy I often found in the cooking process. How it was a reminder to me that I could take piles of sugar and flour and make them into something beautiful. And if I can do that with such simple things, surely God can take the "piles" of stuff in my life and make something beautiful of it too. I reflect on this a lot , actually.

With the CCFCC President

One of the things that most scared me was associating myself with professional chefs. I so desperately wanted to be around people who could inspire me and just glean from their experience but I was also paralyzed by the fear that they would not find me worthy enough.

I'm so glad I took the chance. I would not have believed it last year if anyone had told me but I not only joined the Canadian Culinary Federation (CCFCC) but last week,  I attended their annual conference.

They were friendly and welcoming - but taught me quickly that I had to put aside my low self esteem if I was to fit in. I had to be proud of what I do, confident in my skills and training and confident in the way I spoke and held myself.  Yes... who knew - the cure to insecurity would be confidence and assuredness.  Well, fake it 'till you make it , anyway !

I don't know where this year will lead. Many days I still feel a sense of hopelessness.
But I'm learning who I am. And who I am can't be taken from me by my circumstances, other people or even my own state of mind. God is molding me. Preparing me. Creating me into something good.
He takes the stuff in my life that seems random and carefully works it together to make something beautiful.
And every time I cook, I remember.

Quick & Easy Pie Crust ?

There is a quick and easy pie crust recipe going around on facebook lately. I'm busily setting up my entry as two pies bake in the oven.

I warn you in advance. I am a skeptic. I refuse to use the oil. Instead, I opted to make one with butter and one with coconut oil.

I was taught that the success or failure of a pie pastry depends on how the fat and flour are mixed and how the gluten is developed.

A flaky pie dough is created when you cut the fat into the flour making tiny particles. When the liquid is added the flour absorbs it and develops some gluten. When you roll out the dough, the little bits of fat and moistened flour and flatten and become flakes separated by the layers of fat. Thus it is important to have really cold fat that won't melt when you handle it and why for me, I opt to use a fat that is in a solid form.
Experience tells me that this cannot possibly be a flaky pie dough.

That's ok. Flaky dough is better suited for the top of a pie anyway so I'm crossing my fingers that this will come out as a decent mealy pie dough. Better suited for custard filled pies because it won't absorb much liquid.

So that's the theory lesson on pie dough.

Let's get started.
I made a Cranberry Custard Pie and a Vanilla-Bourbon Pumpkin Pie.

Substitute any fat but keep your proportions the same

Here's your recipe :
Easy Pie Dough


1.5c flour
1/2 tsp salt
2 TBS sugar
1/2c oil
3.5 TBS milk

Mix ingredients in pie plate (fork & fingers).Pat and press out into the pie plate. If no filling is added , prick crust with fork.
Bake 375, 15 minutes

Work fat into flour , try not to over handle it !

Press down into pan

Vent it by pricking it with a fork

Cranberry Custard Pie ingredients

Want to make the Cranberry Custard Pie ?

Pulse in blender or chop up 12 ounces of cranberries and add 3/4c sugar and lemon zest.
Spread mixture into cooled crust - I used the coconut oil crust for this one.

Whisk together 2 eggs, 2/3c heavy cream, 1/4c sugar and pour over top.

Bake until set, about 45 minutes.

Pour in the custard !

Here are the Results 

Not thrilled with the filling itself but of the two pie crusts this one had a more pleasant flavour. A mealy dough which tasted more like shortbread than pastry. Non offensive but missed the mark.

This cranberry custard was delicious and the only reason I just kept on eating. The texture was inconsistent and it didn't even hold it's shape. It had a terrible mouth feel as a result and I wouldn't recommend using coconut oil with this recipe if you decide to use it for convenience.

Overall , I did not like the recipe. If I were going to simplify my life with a one dish , press in , easy crust, I would go with a graham crust.

Let me know if you have better luck !

Cooking Without 2

Cooking Without 2

Last time I made an entry on Cooking Without I had 3 days before grocery day/pay day.
Today is 5 days before grocery day. That is a tricky spot for sure.
I was blessed again with visiting friends this week - another family of 5 children. I shopped a day early in case they saw my empty fridge and thought their visit was a burden.  But it's a tight summer and I hope that this isn't the new normal for us.  We recently over extended ourselves with the purchase of a trailer. Now before anyone gives me a pay-in-full speech give me a few minutes on this soap box. 



My oldest is to be 14 this summer and very actively involved now in Cadets, Youth Group, Quizzing Team. In May, he was home ONE weekend with us - he is away at a training and fitness testing day as I write this. He is transitioning towards independence , which we completely support. But our seasons are limited and thus we count that cost as we incur another bill payment. An investment in the family relationships , memories and shared experiences. And so we pay, and we pay the price without regret.

But there's also reality. There's no open fridge policy - I kid you not, they will never be filled. The appetite of a teenage boy is insatiable. And I feel a bit like Neighbourhood Watch or Crime Stoppers as I police any sign of activity in the kitchen!

So I rummaged through the pantry for ingredients that would not be missed any time soon to make something-  some expression of love (YES , food is love). Found three dented old cans inherited from a donation my father had brought me from a closing food bank he was involved with. Blessed treasure. 

(Simply blend pineapple with coconut milk , pour into molds 3/4 full. Add some fruit and freeze. )

Cooking Without

Cooking Without - Focaccia 

I have to be the most inconsistent blogger ever. I've said it before, there are so many blogs out there. So many experts in everything that another blogger is probably not what the world needs.
However, I do enjoy writing on occasion and keeping track of thoughts and projects that I might be up to from time to time.
For those who don't know me I am a homeschooling mom to five boys. And they are getting bigger.And they are nearly eating us out of house and home. That , by the way, is not so much a figure of speech for some.  My husband works a very decent job but with a family of 7 and boys rolling into teenage years it's like treading water more days than not.  Currently I have 3 huge turkeys in my freezer bought on sale, six bricks of butter that had been reduced to $1, buckets of whole grains that need to be ground. I have four eggs. One bag of milk (yeah, it's Ontario so it's bagged). Six pears. And three days until grocery day. And I really can't - shouldn't - go buy anything because I already dipped into savings this week to buy gas and fresh fruit and milk. This is pretty much the situation at the end of every pay cycle and it's okay. God is good and we DO have all we need and I have been blessed with a skill set just right for my lifestyle. I'm not Pinterest-best but I can do the job.
My friend recently came over with her five children making the lunch time count 14 people. This is not unusual - my boys had friends over for the weekend and then I had seven boys, plus us. And I want you to know that this brings me great joy to see my house full. A blessing not everyone can boast about. So the last thing I ever want my guests to think is that they are burdening me.
Back to my group of 14..... I pulled off a decent lunch and my friend , always the encourager, suggested I share recipes of how to make much out of nothing much.
I'm going to share a recipe with you for Focaccia. Focaccia is a flat , oven baked, pizza style Italian bread.

750ml water
3 tsp instant yeast
2 3/4c flour
3 tsp salt
1 1/4tsp sugar
2 oz olive oil.

Use your stand mixer to combine your ingredients into a dough.
Oil your sheet pans with olive oil ( I lined mine with foil instead)
Roll out dough into pan (I used two pans, you could maybe even get three out of this)
Put in a warm place, covered for 1.5 -2 hours to proof.
Use your finger tips to press dimples into the dough.

Now the fun. FIND SOMETHING to finish it with.

Brush it with melted butter or flavoured oil or even just olive oil.
Top it with coarse salt, fresh herbs, garlic, cheese, tomatoes, olives, ham/bacon/turkey - Whatever you have on hand.

Put a pan of water into the oven for steam and bake it at 425 degrees for about 20 minutes or until golden.

This is a yummy snack, light lunch or finishes off a meal. Very few ingredients with a little investment of your time and effort.

I hope you try it a few times to see how versatile this can be and made with very inexpensive staples.

Carolyn