Reflections Between Mind & Body 16/06/21

I miss you - and I miss us. I miss our team work. The way I would see the things that had to be done, the things that would inspire us and you would catch that spark and leap into action. I dreamed it and you never doubted your abilities to set it in motion. You were strong enough, capable enough and able enough to see it all through. You were a rock , a stubborn and fiercely determined partner. Perhaps too stubborn. You failed me. Or maybe I took advantage of you. But you never put any brakes on my ideas or whims. You relentlessly just kept doing the things and when you couldn't or it hurt you , you bore through it until you broke. And in your breaking you have broken me too. Maybe you are just as angry at me - for pushing when it's my job to know better. So now here we are. What do we do ? I don't have the answers anymore. I've adapted, you've rested and you've pushed. We are shadows of our former self. Unrecognizable if the world were to actually see us as we clumsily fake our way through what's left. I'm embarrassed , disappointed , angry , frustrated and deeply sorrowed. It's far too soon to call the game. I don't want to spend my life playing candy crush, scrolling facebook, pinning things onto boards I'll never do. My reflections cause me pain ; whether I look back, or forward , or even to the here and now. I am trying. You are trying. And we are failing. Falling. Alone. Invisible. I miss you - and I miss us . And I miss the days that we were enough.