I'm Back

It's been about two years since I posted on this blog and I confess that the reason was so silly. Ready ? One person poked fun at my bog. One. You would think that wouldn't have deterred me  from doing something that I was really enjoying. What is was , was a red flag that I didn't take notice of. The spring of 2011 brought something dark and ugly into my life that I had not experienced at that level before. Depression. It crept in and then it rolled in and then it consumed me.
But you Bible believing mom's who are a step of me will know that the Bible says that "ALL thing work together for the good". And so it did. I learned that I am blessed with an incredibly supportive husband who is stronger than I think he knows. That my friends and family really love me through it all. That God really doesn't ever leave me. And that every answer I am looking for can be found in God's word.
One afternoon as I sat with my sleeping baby under a tree I asked God to PLEASE show me His will for me. Not only that, could He PLEASE make it really obvious because my head was messed up and I just couldn't see anything. I opened my Bible and the first verse I read said "Be joyful always, pray continuously and give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you ", Wow. So even though I didn't feel joyful or thankful I started trying to act that way. Not in a "fake it 'till you make it" sort of way but in the way that I thought Christ must have meant by the "renewing of your mind". As I began to look for opportunities to be thankful and joyful and began to "cast all my burdens onto Jesus" my mind really did begin to change !
It's been a loooong road. So much happened in a year which I do think I will write a bit about later. Where am I at today ? Well, I'm more whole than ever but as some of you know depression is a nasty evil thing. A couple of months ago I noticed it creeping in again. I've taken what I've learned and I also went to see my doctor. I'm stomping it out before it rolls in and consumes me again. I'm in love with my kids again and enjoying my family and I refuse to let go of that blessing in my life.

Me with my boys